the most insulting thing ever,

Although the friend of mine may read this, I don't really care that she knows that she is the one who gave me the worst insult I have ever gotten ever.  She probably forgets that she said this and may even ask who it was that did say it.  And I'll say, Darling, it was you.

Lately my friends and I have spent a lot more time than usual talking about the future.  Lately meaning for the past year and a half.  We talk about college, careers, upcoming weekends and dances but rarely talk much about exactly what's happening at the moment.  But I remember saying "I think I would like to work with people somehow."  and she said, to one extent or another, "maybe you could be a sociologist and work in a lab to study people?"

I'm not sure exactly how she worded it, but what she meant was (and I know what she meant.  We've been friends for years, I pick up on what everything she says actually means whether she knows it or not.) "maybe you should work in a dark lab alone where you don't have to talk to anyone ever and study people instead of actually being around people."  I know that in reading this there is no possible way for you to trust that what she said is what she actually said, but it is.  Because I looked at her with confusion and she just kind of nodded as if to say "yeah that's exactly what I meant."

I mean maybe she thinks I'm not good with people because in her case I tend to be (exact opposite of verbose?) sometimes.  But that's only because she says shit like that up there.

I just wanted to tell her "you don't know me."  Because I mean she tries- but she kind of doesn't.  I really like spending time with people and helping them.  I would love to become a high school teacher and hang around teenagers all day or to become a social worker and help kids find homes.  I know how to deal with people because I'm not one. 

I've been thinking about fights lately.  About how I rarely get in fights with people because it's difficult to get me stirred up enough with a person to say anything in the first place.  And how when I do get in fights, I don't let myself get vulnerable enough to end up hurt or sad. 

And I've been thinking about how today at the pool I could have kicked that kid out, my supervisor wanted me to kick him out, but I knew that he wasn't a bad kid.  He was just being a jackass.  I see people further than anyone else does.  I take time to analyze them from lots of sides and I'm good at figuring out how to deal with them.

You may not like the way I treat you but you better realize that there is a reason I do.   So don't tell me I shouldn't be dealing with people as a career. 

Sassy face.