Re: Remembrances of Warmth

This is a blog response to this.
So go read that, and marvel at how lovely her words are and how she has a beautiful vocabulary and way of writing and just say "Damn Hayley, why am I reading your blog and not Iz's?"
This post was written by my girl Zazz/Iz.  Zazz has the most beautiful (bold, underline & italics- shit's legit) way of expressing her ideas through her writing.  Her words just roll of my tongue as I read them in my head- that doesn't make any sense but I feel like if you've been reading my blog long enough then you know what I mean.  Maybe not. 

Back to Zazz- her words are awesome and they remind me of what summer feels like and I want her to know that I miss it and get all nostalgic about it too- all the time. 

I miss how sunscreen smells.  I miss guarding at chair 7 at Peterson Pool, where you can't even hear the radio but at least you're outside.  I miss being told by Rami to turn my music down every night at FLA.  I miss enjoying the music I listened to, rather than just listening to it to cover up the vacuum of the silence that is the entire season of winter.  I miss taking a nap on my sidewalk one sunny day and a kid stepping over me.  I miss driving around with Laura listening to Rascal Flatts and Ke$ha and yelling at stoplights.  I miss being a pleasant person instead of the crank that winter turns me into without fail every time it rolls around.  And most of all, I miss caring about things. 

I remember the middle of August last year.  As soon as I realized that there were a handful of days left of Summer, I started having panic attacks almost every day.  I remembered the sadness that is winter, the depression.  I'm apathetic, I'm lazy, I'm tired, and I'm not always nice.  In the summer though, I'm happy to be alive and I'm passionate about things worth being passionate about.  I miss that feeling like I was doing what I was supposed to do. 

I wish I could say that I'll try to be happy like I am in summer, but I'm not going to be until Peterson Pool opens again and school lets out.  I wish there was something I could do to feel the fire that is me in the summer, but that's what makes summer so special.  I am the me-est me I could be in the summer.  So look forward to that (: