This post may be a little awkward to write without making it seem like I am somehow disconnected with my extended family, but that is absolutely not the attitude I want to put out; I would like to, however, focus on the neighborly love we are so lucky to have.
I have only very briefly talked about my grandmother passing last Spring, and I still don't have all of the words I need to do so, but it is still devastating. She is the first person who I have actually known who has died, and it's been tough to deal with because it has made me rethink a lot of spiritual convictions I have held for a long time. Somehow I don't think I knew exactly how love feels until now that she's gone, but I'm happy she was, in death, able to teach me another lesson. I realized that I believe in heaven, because I just have to. She can't be gone.
But anyways, this thanksgiving was the first we have spent without her at least since we moved to Cleveland, and I don't really remember a thanksgiving before then. We ended up not even getting together with any of our extended family from that side, and there's no explanation as to why not, but it just didn't happen.
All of these things culminated into an awkward excitement about going home and seeing my family and eating food and of totally dreading a thanksgiving dinner without my grandma.
That, and I've been kind of tearful lately at very random things (for example, a Sarah Mclachlan dog commercial could probably take me down right now) so I was also dreading that I would almost definitely cry at dinner. Spoilers: I didn't, but I almost did.
So we ate dinner together and it was delicious and of course lovely to have the family back together for the first time since labor day, but it was after dinner that the magic happened. We (I) invited our dear old friends and neighbors over for dessert. After having spent the day in a weird familial isolation, the Strohs and Pirnats and Jaime walking in was nothing short of a family reunion.
They walked in the door and we knew we weren't alone. The kids hung out like cousins and the parents told stories like they were siblings. I don't really even know what to say other than that having family is nice, and I'm so thankful to have the family that I have, blood related and not. Miracle of human consciousness and everything.
Also, I have been writing this blog for two years now! If you're still reading this, I thank you.
