I drank way too much coffee and now I am ravaged with hunger and the need to pee even though I ate a huge wrap for lunch 2 hours ago and I peed 20 minutes ago. It's like drinking beer, but worse. This is why I prefer tea lately.
I haven't blogged in a really long time, which is kind of a shame but also a reflection of my internal feelings lately. I fell into a rut of just being really stressed out, and really scared to do anything, and really bored of my whole life. And so I'm going to try to stop feeling those things by changing the way I'm acting.
This all kind of started a few days ago when I decided I would get a tattoo just because I had a little bit of extra cash and because I wanted to. People keep asking the meaning, and there is one, but the real meaning is found in the act of going by myself appointment-less to a tattoo shop and asking if anyone was available to give me a small tattoo. I did it because I could and because I wanted to and that makes me feel amazing!
My parents will definitely be incensed about it but I feel so happy and proud of myself for doing it that I don't really care. Every time I look at it I am reminded of my own autonomy and courage and independence. I'm sure they'll have their words about it and that they probably won't understand, but I'm not going to worry about that until I actually tell them.
So this is me trying to be better! Life was hard and unpleasant but I'm going to make it fun. And I'm quitting my job and working out more. Hopefully I'll find more things to smile about!
