no it's not ironic.

Irony is a term used when something is the opposite of what it logically should be.  It is also a term used incorrectly thousands of times every day.

My friend Abbey used it correctly when saying that smart phones are dumb and that is ironic.  Yes it IS ironic because smart phones are supposed to be smart.  The popular song entitled Ironic by Alanis Morisette is ironic because you would think it's about Irony but it's actually about sad things that happen that aren't ironic at all.

For example, the lyrics: 

An old man turned ninety-eight

He won the lottery and died the next day

aren't ironic at all... that's just sad.  But the entire awful song is like that.  You can go through it and count all of the sucky things that happen but none of them are actually ironic and Alanis Morisette is a moron.

FEMALE DICTIONARY:
nothing, forget it = you better figure out what you did wrong.
are you tired? = please don"t go to sleep, i love talking to you.
i"m okay = hold me tight, i need a shoulder to cry on.
i don"t give a fuck anymore = i still care, but i"m tired of arguing with you.
i"m cold = get a blanket and cuddle with me.
leave me alone = please don"t go.
i love you = tell me you do more.

I hate some of these "like" things on facebook.  For example, that one up there.  

There is someone out there who thinks they're smart for writing that and making it likeable.  Think about that.  There are many flaws with it obviously but the biggest one that everyone ever should realize is the "leave me alone= please don't go"


Let's get this clear that if I tell you to leave me alone, you better.  Why don't people say what they mean?  How is anyone supposed to understand what you mean when you never say it ever.  


Goddddd that girl is stupid.

the most insulting thing ever,

Although the friend of mine may read this, I don't really care that she knows that she is the one who gave me the worst insult I have ever gotten ever.  She probably forgets that she said this and may even ask who it was that did say it.  And I'll say, Darling, it was you.

Lately my friends and I have spent a lot more time than usual talking about the future.  Lately meaning for the past year and a half.  We talk about college, careers, upcoming weekends and dances but rarely talk much about exactly what's happening at the moment.  But I remember saying "I think I would like to work with people somehow."  and she said, to one extent or another, "maybe you could be a sociologist and work in a lab to study people?"

I'm not sure exactly how she worded it, but what she meant was (and I know what she meant.  We've been friends for years, I pick up on what everything she says actually means whether she knows it or not.) "maybe you should work in a dark lab alone where you don't have to talk to anyone ever and study people instead of actually being around people."  I know that in reading this there is no possible way for you to trust that what she said is what she actually said, but it is.  Because I looked at her with confusion and she just kind of nodded as if to say "yeah that's exactly what I meant."

I mean maybe she thinks I'm not good with people because in her case I tend to be (exact opposite of verbose?) sometimes.  But that's only because she says shit like that up there.

I just wanted to tell her "you don't know me."  Because I mean she tries- but she kind of doesn't.  I really like spending time with people and helping them.  I would love to become a high school teacher and hang around teenagers all day or to become a social worker and help kids find homes.  I know how to deal with people because I'm not one. 

I've been thinking about fights lately.  About how I rarely get in fights with people because it's difficult to get me stirred up enough with a person to say anything in the first place.  And how when I do get in fights, I don't let myself get vulnerable enough to end up hurt or sad. 

And I've been thinking about how today at the pool I could have kicked that kid out, my supervisor wanted me to kick him out, but I knew that he wasn't a bad kid.  He was just being a jackass.  I see people further than anyone else does.  I take time to analyze them from lots of sides and I'm good at figuring out how to deal with them.

You may not like the way I treat you but you better realize that there is a reason I do.   So don't tell me I shouldn't be dealing with people as a career. 

Sassy face.

oh natalie.

I'M THE SWAN QUEEN

Sally Brompton just stop it.

right.

When I was 13 years old I bought a subscription to Seventeen magazine because I kind of liked all of the teenage girly stuff it entailed.  Seventeen, if you don't know, is probably the most popular American teenage girl magazine that talks about clothes, makeup, boys, and being skinny.  Now though, I'm 16 and I don't so much care for anymore the sexist advice on what to do about my crush or for the 48347 fashion tips I get per magazine that I never use.  Between the ages of 13 and 16, I found kinda who I am and and who I am is someone who doesn't do what people tell me to do.

So in December of 2010 I received a letter from Seventeen asking me to renew my subscription and my mother asked me if I was going to and I kinda just said nah, throw that letter away.  That's not the first time that that conversation took place though, I'm pretty sure that in December of 2009 I said the same thing and for some reason my subscription continued anyways.  And then this year, after I did not resubscribe again, my subscription still comes monthly.  I still read it as it comes but I don't really consider it worth the money anymore, I don't exactly need Seventeen in order to be a functional teenage girl.

So let's just get that clear.  I don't pay for that freaking magazine anymore and it still comes to my house.  I'm not even paying for this shit.

But today I was looking at the February 2011 horoscopes on the last page of Seventeen and this is what my horoscope read:
"On the 6th, Venus and Jupiter will suddenly make you fall  head over heels for a new cutie at school"

It kept on after that and told me how to "snag my new crush" and "sharpen my flirting skills" but I figure it's probably not worth the typing.  I mean other than the fact that horoscopes are complete bullshit in the first place, this one, written by Sally Brompton (she deserves credit for this.), is particularly plentiful in lies and total fallacy.  The 6th of February 2011 is, ladies and gentlemen, A SUNDAY.  How, pray tell, would I fall for the NEW cutie at SCHOOL on a SUNDAY?!  I would not have MET the new cutie that I am supposed to fall head over heels for until the SEVENTH because it is a MONDAY and we have SCHOOL ON MONDAYS NOT SUNDAYS.

I mean fine, horoscopes will never be perfectly accurate but that one was just SUCH A FAIL OPERATION.
I'm just ignoring her use of Jupiter and Venus as her own personal playthings to say that they're causing this crap to happen.  crappen.   Is there a term like dehumanizing only for planets, deplanetizing?  Venus and Jupiter are so much greater than your petty use of them to earn your pay.

Dear Sally,
Next time before you write your total crap horoscope for which you will be given a surely fat paycheck, break out your Team Edward 2011 calendar and check to see if that shit's even plausible.
From,
Infuriated at your calendar incompetence.

first day out

It felt like forever, but finally, we were at the top of the Payday lift at Park City.

So I strapped into my snowboard and got going. The hill was familiar, sort of difficult, not too icy, more people than would be preferable. It was weirdish though, every curve the clope took I thought was going to be the bottom, then it wasn't. And, for the first time in my life, I was the first one in our group of 9 to make it to the bottom. I was cruisin for sure.

I had neglected the notion of goggles for the first day out and I was rocking my shades instead. That though, soon became a mistake. I was going so fast that I couldn't see a thing- my eyes were watering from the wind hitting them so hard. And then there was a strange tapping in my ear... what the hell? Turned out it was my hood beating against my helmet in the wind. I was so cold but so comfortable. I love how alone you are on a hill. There are people but you don't directly communicate with them, it's just you and the slope and some things to avoid. It feels more natural than anything.

We came out here with my dad's college buddies and their families. So it's the Hartmans, the Molczans, and the Labories. There are 6 teenagers, 5 adults. And then there's another guy, Carnahan, who joined us out here too but he's not staying in the house with us.

Our house is essentially, the shit. Plenty of beds and bedrooms, 45 inch TVs, the works. We don't have much in the department of food though, the fridge is pretty much just stocked with beer. The floors here are heated which seemed sweet at first but our room is hot as hell because of it. Octogon hot tub. Pretty sick.

Get that saddle outta here.

Then we went to a terrain park. I wasn't gonna die on a box the first day out, so I just went on what I thought was going to be a whaleback next to the rails and boxes. They weren't whalebacks though, they were jumps and I got some baby airs before I even knew what was happening.

We went out for dinner with Carnahan and we had the pleasure of driving him down to the place we ate at. My dad was driving and he missed the turn that would take us straight down the mountain and into town and we ended up on a long damn road that took us around the mountain. Several times. We saw the venicular.

Is that a comforting thing or is that an im a weird kid thing?

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^look look I wrote this from my droid! wheeee.

airports and stuff.

It's four thirty in the damn morning, mom. Stop. Telling. Me. To. Get. Up.

It's four fifty in the damn morning, m- SHIT WE LEAVE AT 5

So i scraped all of my last minute stuff together, threw it in my backpack pulled on a pair of jeans and a t shirt and ran downstairs. Forget brushing my hair or putting together a cute airport outfit, Utah was waiting. I was cranky and getting sassed for waking up late, so I got some coffee because it solves all of my problems. Then we got in the car, and I, being the little sister, was forced to sit in the tiny back back seat. Ew.

So we arrived at the Cleveland Hopkins airport anddd got to our gate and waited to board. I love airports in the morning- I mean, I hate mornings, but as far as places to be during such ungodly hours go, airports are tops. I like that they're quiet but still exciting.

We boarded flight 413 and we waited. And waited. And then finnnnnaaalllyyyyy we took off! It was awesome. I love the feeling of flying- it's easy to pretend like you're somewhere else. Being 10,000 feet up is like not being anywhere at all, and it's like being anywhere you like.

I love how gravity feels too. Sometimes on a plane you feel really really heavy, like everything is pushing you down. But then you feel yourself lift up out of your seat a little when they turn the gravity off. I love that a lot.

My dad and Beau and I boarded the plane before Beau's friend Alec did. I sat in a row with my dad and Beau sat in the row next to us where he saved a seat for Alec. I looked down and when I looked back up, the three seat row in which my brother sat was full of old people. Lolololol. So I got to sit next to Alec wheeee!

Beau, you can put your phone on airplane mode instead of turning it off.
Yeah Hayley but I just turned it off.
But whyyyy?
Because that's what you're supposed to do...
But... the phone has an airplane mode.
Hayley, I'll kill your whole family.
No I'll kill YOUR whole family.

It keeps turning out that babies are sitting behind me. Not that I really mind babies, but they're just sort of... loud.

But now we're on our second flight, we had a connection in Chicago. Beau and I managed to save a seat for Alec this time, despite some sass from a klutzy long haired skier. We played three way mariokart, and

I FEEL LIKE YELLING.

Fudjiskxnjcfhdusjikjbh jduehswjudui n brraaaaaahahahahah.

This flight from Chicago to Salt Lake City is a much longer one, around 3 hours and 15 minutes. It's exciting though, I've never traveled this far west before.

It's a cup in a cup. It's an inception cup.
It has layers!

Your hair is... vertical.

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