I think I should go really hard and start a thing called blog every hour in April. Going hard, anyone else? Thoughts?
hahahahaahahaahahaahhaahhahahahahhahahahahah
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The worst day of my entire life.
*this is about to be whiny
I was in my freshman year at WHS and seeing as I quit clarinet after 6th grade, I am not in the marching band. Not that I exactly aspire to be in the marching band, but most of my friends are and there is one week that occurs every other year that makes me want to be in the marching band more than anything. It's when the band takes an extended trip to another city in the US and has an enjoyable time touring around and performing.
Being not on the band trip should seem like punishment enough for being no good at the clarinet, but what's worse is that a lot of my best friends are in the band. Meaning that for one week every other year (it comes all to often.) I am stuck in rainy, cold, sucky Ohio, in school, without most of my best friends.
And yeah, you may have guessed it, the week of the band trip is this week.
Ugh they left last night and school today was as torturous as ever. Every time I wanted to make a joke about something stupid a teacher said, no one was there to laugh with me. Except Zazu.
But anyways, I'm better off this year than I was last year, because since freshman year I have made more friends through choir and I've made underclassmenfriends...friend as well. So it's not nearly as miserable as it was two years ago.
Anyways, that was a hell of a lot of background for what will be a pretty short and generally pointless story. Well I just remember, my freshman year the band went to Orlando and ALL of my friends were on that trip. I was pretty much just trying to get through the week, and I'm pretty sure the worst day of my life occurred on a Tuesday. I had survived Monday alright in my classes, didn't talk much, wore sweat pants no doubt, went from class to class without an issue. I was lucky because the girls I sat with at lunch weren't in band, so wasn't forced to relocate for lunch. Well like I said it was Tuesday, and it was worse than Monday. I think I got yelled at or something in choir and I probably forget some homework for science that morning. Not exactly day ruiners except for that I didn't have Laura or Sam or Riss to go and complain at. Yeah I just ended that sentence with a preposition, lemme go kill myself real quick.
I was already on edge and kind of off of my usual sunny (lol.) demeanor. I was at my locker just making smalltalk with Alec, whose books are housed in the locker next to mine. And then it happened so fast- a push, a crash, a pain on my head. Some idiot junior boy had shoved this enormous kid into the set of lockers I was standing under, and before I knew it, the metal plank lining the top of the locker had landed on my cranium, and man, it hurt. But the pain wasn't why I started crying then and there, it was because of the shock of it all. And poor Alec was standing next to me not even knowing what to do. A teacher walked by and asked what happened and all I could blubber out was "locker...fell...owhohohowwwowowowww"
I would've gotten out of class for a bit because I had to go to the principal's office and help him fill out an accident report and he called my dad to tell him what happened and that I would survive. Unfortunately for me though, when all this happened I was on my way to lunch and by the time I was finished in the office, I was on my way to my class.
After school that day I had to go to probably two separate rehearsals for the two musicals I was in (I haven't talked about my total disdain for rehearsals of that sort yet, but trust me, I will eventually). Worst. Day. Ever.
There was also the day where I broke up with my boyfriend, went to musical rehearsal and then came home and found out my grandpa had died. That sucked a lot too.
I was in my freshman year at WHS and seeing as I quit clarinet after 6th grade, I am not in the marching band. Not that I exactly aspire to be in the marching band, but most of my friends are and there is one week that occurs every other year that makes me want to be in the marching band more than anything. It's when the band takes an extended trip to another city in the US and has an enjoyable time touring around and performing.
Being not on the band trip should seem like punishment enough for being no good at the clarinet, but what's worse is that a lot of my best friends are in the band. Meaning that for one week every other year (it comes all to often.) I am stuck in rainy, cold, sucky Ohio, in school, without most of my best friends.
And yeah, you may have guessed it, the week of the band trip is this week.
Ugh they left last night and school today was as torturous as ever. Every time I wanted to make a joke about something stupid a teacher said, no one was there to laugh with me. Except Zazu.
But anyways, I'm better off this year than I was last year, because since freshman year I have made more friends through choir and I've made underclassmen
Anyways, that was a hell of a lot of background for what will be a pretty short and generally pointless story. Well I just remember, my freshman year the band went to Orlando and ALL of my friends were on that trip. I was pretty much just trying to get through the week, and I'm pretty sure the worst day of my life occurred on a Tuesday. I had survived Monday alright in my classes, didn't talk much, wore sweat pants no doubt, went from class to class without an issue. I was lucky because the girls I sat with at lunch weren't in band, so wasn't forced to relocate for lunch. Well like I said it was Tuesday, and it was worse than Monday. I think I got yelled at or something in choir and I probably forget some homework for science that morning. Not exactly day ruiners except for that I didn't have Laura or Sam or Riss to go and complain at. Yeah I just ended that sentence with a preposition, lemme go kill myself real quick.
I was already on edge and kind of off of my usual sunny (lol.) demeanor. I was at my locker just making smalltalk with Alec, whose books are housed in the locker next to mine. And then it happened so fast- a push, a crash, a pain on my head. Some idiot junior boy had shoved this enormous kid into the set of lockers I was standing under, and before I knew it, the metal plank lining the top of the locker had landed on my cranium, and man, it hurt. But the pain wasn't why I started crying then and there, it was because of the shock of it all. And poor Alec was standing next to me not even knowing what to do. A teacher walked by and asked what happened and all I could blubber out was "locker...fell...owhohohowwwowowowww"
I would've gotten out of class for a bit because I had to go to the principal's office and help him fill out an accident report and he called my dad to tell him what happened and that I would survive. Unfortunately for me though, when all this happened I was on my way to lunch and by the time I was finished in the office, I was on my way to my class.
After school that day I had to go to probably two separate rehearsals for the two musicals I was in (I haven't talked about my total disdain for rehearsals of that sort yet, but trust me, I will eventually). Worst. Day. Ever.
There was also the day where I broke up with my boyfriend, went to musical rehearsal and then came home and found out my grandpa had died. That sucked a lot too.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
this is my chem roooooom.
The shape of this classroom is from where it derives most of its other structural failure. I put numbers on this so as to possibly help describe all of the fail.
1. This is the front of the classroom. Because the walls aren't parallel and the desks are angled at the wall with windows, the only part of the board that every student in the class can see is the part I colored in yellow.
2. The desks are pushed so close together that it's impossible to walk between desks without brushing your ass against someones shoulder or kicking someones backpack. They're never in straight lines either. They're always crooked and disheveled.
3. This is my desk! I sit next to a window, which is nice, but the ONLY part of the board I can see now is the yellow part. I'll also probably never pay attention ever again because whatwith the window, the entire class sitting closer to the board than me, and sight problems distracting me. It's very sunny in there though, my right shoulder will no doubt be tanned and beautiful by the end of the quarter.
4. This is the main door and the back of the classroom.
5. This is a strange tall structure that obstructs everyone's vision from the part of the board that is located behind the tall structure. My teacher still always writes on that part of the board though.
6. This is another escape from the classroom, and it goes into the chemical storage room. It is also a little passageway from this mess of a classroom to a perfectly rectangular classroom.
I'm not complaining about the teacher of this class, I think he's a really good teacher actually. But the learning environment is frikkin terrible.
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It's tuesday!
It is so possible that I end up posting four times today. It'll likely be three though. What is BEDA doing to me?
I got the URL for another friend of mine's blog, and she's brilliant and I love it.
So you may be wondering, how is the no-dairy-April deal going? Well, it's pretty awesome so far! When I cut out dairy, that also means foods including dairy or butter or yogurt or cream or... you get it. Well that pretty much means I now have about half of the options as I did before, and most of them are healthier or rather, not junk. Also, a lot of my meals have been requiring more preparation because I can no longer simply grab a few cookies* or a chewy bar to sustain me for a little bit. I have to actually open up my fridge, find a few different things, and PUT THEM ON A PLATE in order to make a meal. Exhausting. But overall (despite the fact that I've been feeling perpetually hungry) I've pretty much been feeling all around lighter and more active. I've been eating a lot of fruit and vegetables, not so much bread, a little bit of soy milk (meh, I kind of detest the stuff), and eggs. Also stew, which has meat in it and that's probably healthy.
So yeah, I've adopted a better diet for April I guess. Along with that, I've been working out more often (I went yesterday AND the day before- astounding. What's even more astounding is I plan to go after work tonight too. Conveniently, my job is located in the same building as the gym I work out at. AWESOME.)
Funny enough though, today I opened up my fridge in search of food and I took out the milk and got a glass and poured it and then as I was bringing the glass up to my lips, I remembered that milk isn't my thing anymore! Ah, old habits die hard.
* Small confession: I never stopped grabbing chocolate chip cookies. I forgot that cookies have butter in them... damn. It was my only lapse though and I stopped and now I know better! It'll never happen again!
I got the URL for another friend of mine's blog, and she's brilliant and I love it.
So you may be wondering, how is the no-dairy-April deal going? Well, it's pretty awesome so far! When I cut out dairy, that also means foods including dairy or butter or yogurt or cream or... you get it. Well that pretty much means I now have about half of the options as I did before, and most of them are healthier or rather, not junk. Also, a lot of my meals have been requiring more preparation because I can no longer simply grab a few cookies* or a chewy bar to sustain me for a little bit. I have to actually open up my fridge, find a few different things, and PUT THEM ON A PLATE in order to make a meal. Exhausting. But overall (despite the fact that I've been feeling perpetually hungry) I've pretty much been feeling all around lighter and more active. I've been eating a lot of fruit and vegetables, not so much bread, a little bit of soy milk (meh, I kind of detest the stuff), and eggs. Also stew, which has meat in it and that's probably healthy.
So yeah, I've adopted a better diet for April I guess. Along with that, I've been working out more often (I went yesterday AND the day before- astounding. What's even more astounding is I plan to go after work tonight too. Conveniently, my job is located in the same building as the gym I work out at. AWESOME.)
Funny enough though, today I opened up my fridge in search of food and I took out the milk and got a glass and poured it and then as I was bringing the glass up to my lips, I remembered that milk isn't my thing anymore! Ah, old habits die hard.
* Small confession: I never stopped grabbing chocolate chip cookies. I forgot that cookies have butter in them... damn. It was my only lapse though and I stopped and now I know better! It'll never happen again!
I FAILED/Dream sequence
It's true I did. Last night I was on my computer and it froze and and anddddd I went to sleep without posting. Ugh.
That's okay though. I'm gonna post twice today and keep going with BEDA, because it's more of a promise to myself that I'll finish than it is to anyone else. Except Zazu, I have to do it because I got her to do it and if I quit, she would probably paint me with fruit or egg my house or something else weird like that.
Anyways though, yesterday, my PLAN was to write about how good and nice of a day yesterday was but then after today, I think I'm just going to juxtapose my Monday and my Tuesday.
Yesterday I had a fairly easy and stress-free day of school, including that my choir teacher was absent for my second choir of the day which is always a bonus. And then I came home and I was pretty tired because I hadn't eaten much that day and I also hadn't had much caffeine and it was raining beautifully so I took the best nap ever. And then I woke up and babysat a fairly adorable three-year-old (fairly? Who am I kidding- extremely adorable.) and that was nice and then I got home and spent time with my sister. And after all of those lovely times, I went and worked out too. So it was productive and well-rested and straight awesome!
And then there was today.
Everything was normal up until lunch when I got mad at Jason for calling me dumb because I kept arguing with him about something I would've SWORN I was right about, which I wasn't at all. And then I went to Law and things went as planned, you know, just watched a movie, relaxed, went to choir.
(Small side note that will make sense in time: You know how when you're dreaming, everything is scrambled and uffish and you don't know which way is up? And sometimes for me it happens that numbers really just don't make sense when I'm dreaming. Like I'll dream that I'm two people or that some people are different people and there are only 7 of them. That sentence didn't make sense, but it's a dream, so does it have to?)
So I got to choir and we warmed up and then we switch seats for one of the songs we were singing and 2nd sopranos were put in the middle of everything. I'm a second soprano. Well then my choir teacher said "I know there are only 4 of you, and this part is hard but could you please sing louder?" and I said,
"5."
"What?"
"There are five of us"
"No, two down in the first row and-"
"Three in the second row"
And Laura said "Hayley, there are only two of us in the second row."
"But. There are three!"
"No, Hayley. Just two."
And I looked over to find that Laura and I are only two people. We aren't three people. We are two.
It wasn't because there are normally three in the second row (because there are, Marissa was absent today) that I thought we were three, I was legitimately for a few seconds thinking that two was three and we were three. It was so strange. And then Veronica or somebody and Laura called me dumb for the second and third times today. Also a bug flew by my face and I thought it was a small flying dinosaur (it sounds stupid but that was my legitimate first thought) and I dodged it and said "WHOA!" And then I was laughing really hard and someone called me dumb for the fourth time today and I started crying a little. I don't know if I was crying because I was laughing so hard or because I was sad that I was stupid. I think that from my nose up I was sad and from my cheekbones down I was elated because of the hilarity and weirdness.
And back to what I said before, it didn't make sense, but it was a dream, so does it have to? What about reality. Does reality have to make at least the simplest amount of sense, or is it okay for three to be two and six to be eight and three people to be two and moths to be tiny dinosaurs and I don't understand.
Then I went to Westlake Idol and it was hilarious and is the best talent show ever.
That's okay though. I'm gonna post twice today and keep going with BEDA, because it's more of a promise to myself that I'll finish than it is to anyone else. Except Zazu, I have to do it because I got her to do it and if I quit, she would probably paint me with fruit or egg my house or something else weird like that.
Anyways though, yesterday, my PLAN was to write about how good and nice of a day yesterday was but then after today, I think I'm just going to juxtapose my Monday and my Tuesday.
Yesterday I had a fairly easy and stress-free day of school, including that my choir teacher was absent for my second choir of the day which is always a bonus. And then I came home and I was pretty tired because I hadn't eaten much that day and I also hadn't had much caffeine and it was raining beautifully so I took the best nap ever. And then I woke up and babysat a fairly adorable three-year-old (fairly? Who am I kidding- extremely adorable.) and that was nice and then I got home and spent time with my sister. And after all of those lovely times, I went and worked out too. So it was productive and well-rested and straight awesome!
And then there was today.
Everything was normal up until lunch when I got mad at Jason for calling me dumb because I kept arguing with him about something I would've SWORN I was right about, which I wasn't at all. And then I went to Law and things went as planned, you know, just watched a movie, relaxed, went to choir.
(Small side note that will make sense in time: You know how when you're dreaming, everything is scrambled and uffish and you don't know which way is up? And sometimes for me it happens that numbers really just don't make sense when I'm dreaming. Like I'll dream that I'm two people or that some people are different people and there are only 7 of them. That sentence didn't make sense, but it's a dream, so does it have to?)
So I got to choir and we warmed up and then we switch seats for one of the songs we were singing and 2nd sopranos were put in the middle of everything. I'm a second soprano. Well then my choir teacher said "I know there are only 4 of you, and this part is hard but could you please sing louder?" and I said,
"5."
"What?"
"There are five of us"
"No, two down in the first row and-"
"Three in the second row"
And Laura said "Hayley, there are only two of us in the second row."
"But. There are three!"
"No, Hayley. Just two."
And I looked over to find that Laura and I are only two people. We aren't three people. We are two.
It wasn't because there are normally three in the second row (because there are, Marissa was absent today) that I thought we were three, I was legitimately for a few seconds thinking that two was three and we were three. It was so strange. And then Veronica or somebody and Laura called me dumb for the second and third times today. Also a bug flew by my face and I thought it was a small flying dinosaur (it sounds stupid but that was my legitimate first thought) and I dodged it and said "WHOA!" And then I was laughing really hard and someone called me dumb for the fourth time today and I started crying a little. I don't know if I was crying because I was laughing so hard or because I was sad that I was stupid. I think that from my nose up I was sad and from my cheekbones down I was elated because of the hilarity and weirdness.
And back to what I said before, it didn't make sense, but it was a dream, so does it have to? What about reality. Does reality have to make at least the simplest amount of sense, or is it okay for three to be two and six to be eight and three people to be two and moths to be tiny dinosaurs and I don't understand.
Then I went to Westlake Idol and it was hilarious and is the best talent show ever.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Cowcium.
Soooo I'm a copycat. Let's just start with that. But I was reading Hayley G. Hoover's blog and she's giving up dairy products this April!
To be honest and weird, I've always been a little bit jealous of people with will power against food. I've never really had any reason to give anything up seeing as I'm not religious andddd are there any other reasons? Oh, right, dieting. Lol. Anyways. So I've kind of always wanted to test the waters of will power in the name of food, and this April, I'm doing it.
See because I'm already participating in BEDA, I already am doing something outside of my normal schedule. Once I get over the hump of leaving the normal Hayley realm, it's easier to add in more things to a new way of living, so not eating dairy shouldn't be too difficult. I read an article on the subject of dairy(I know- Hayley, shouldn't you have read several articles on it? Yes, probably.) and truth be told- it's not exactly necessary to your diet and it's not always healthy either.
Milk companies make it seem like calcium can only come from cows- if that were true, it would be called cowcium. Get it?
And now you know. I wasn't going to tell anyone about this little April resolution, but now that I'm into and having fun with it, I figured I might as well share with the class. Okay well this was short but I did include a joke, so bonus points?
To be honest and weird, I've always been a little bit jealous of people with will power against food. I've never really had any reason to give anything up seeing as I'm not religious andddd are there any other reasons? Oh, right, dieting. Lol. Anyways. So I've kind of always wanted to test the waters of will power in the name of food, and this April, I'm doing it.
See because I'm already participating in BEDA, I already am doing something outside of my normal schedule. Once I get over the hump of leaving the normal Hayley realm, it's easier to add in more things to a new way of living, so not eating dairy shouldn't be too difficult. I read an article on the subject of dairy(I know- Hayley, shouldn't you have read several articles on it? Yes, probably.) and truth be told- it's not exactly necessary to your diet and it's not always healthy either.
Milk companies make it seem like calcium can only come from cows- if that were true, it would be called cowcium. Get it?
And now you know. I wasn't going to tell anyone about this little April resolution, but now that I'm into and having fun with it, I figured I might as well share with the class. Okay well this was short but I did include a joke, so bonus points?
Saturday, April 2, 2011
4/2 and existentialism... something new and exciting, eh ?
spring awakening and catcher in the rye and rationing and fake deaths and real deaths and korean movies.
I'm listening to the music from Spring Awakening right now. That sentence says a lot more than you think, because even though I kind of grew up in the Musical Theater genre of life, I was never really into the music for any lyrical or content related reasons. So the fact that I grew out of my musical theater phase but I still listen to Spring Awakening says something. Spring Awakening is a revolutionary musical because it is so relatable for teenagers, and it will be like that forever. Spring Awakening is to musical theater as Catcher in the Rye is to books.
I keep thinking about when I clicked on "Left Behind" while sharing an iPod with my friend, and she told me to turn it off. It's one of those memories that makes me want to throw something. I hate that gut wrenching reality that hits you in a 5 second exchange of words.
I wish I had pictures to show you of all the memories I'm sharing right now, but I don't.
I came up with another memory tonight as well after I got home from the film festival, about a fake death. Faking one's own death is a cruel trick to play, and it is again one of those gut wrenching moments of reality worth detesting. I remember when I was visiting a friend in another state. For ease of story-telling, we'll call my friend Shelby and we'll call the girl who faked her death Kate. I wouldn't have had any idea who Kate was when Shelby told me that Kate died, except for that I remember Shelby telling me that she really really didn't like Kate. Shelby is an agreeable and sensible person, so her distaste for Kate was surely validated.
Anyways, Shelby came home from volleyball practice one day and she started crying. I asked her why, and she told me that Kate had gotten in a abad car accident and was dead. I looked at my friend and I couldn't fathom the torture and confusion of her feelings at that moment. Kate's death made Shelby feel guilty for speaking ill of her. Shelby cried when the person she liked the least of anyone died only because she knew her. Death, though we all picture it black, is the most transparent of all the things to be. Death shows us who we are.
We found out a few hours later that Kate was totally full of shit and had done the whole thing herself by stealing her brothers phone and texting a few people. It was pretty selfish of her to do that, and I'm sure that she lost a few people's trust and friendship after that stunt, but I can't help but thinking that maybe these people learned a small lesson in humanity. Maybe not that they loved Kate afterall because they cried when they thought she was dead, but that they should treat people in general as best as they can because you don't know what will happen tomorrow.
I've been feeling so existential lately I guess because I'm a suburbian teenager, but it's more of the hopeful existentialism than the "we are born we kill trees and then we die" sort of existentialism.
I'm really bad at telling stories and then having a conclusion that says something. By the time I'm done speaking or typing out what I'm trying to say, I usually forget where I was going with it in the first place.
Last night I saw a movie at the film festival called Man from Nowhere and it was like Taken with Liam Neeson only twice as badass and one hundred percent more Korean.
"You live for tomorrow. I live for today. People who live for tomorrow get fucked by people who live for today." -Man from Nowhere
I'm listening to the music from Spring Awakening right now. That sentence says a lot more than you think, because even though I kind of grew up in the Musical Theater genre of life, I was never really into the music for any lyrical or content related reasons. So the fact that I grew out of my musical theater phase but I still listen to Spring Awakening says something. Spring Awakening is a revolutionary musical because it is so relatable for teenagers, and it will be like that forever. Spring Awakening is to musical theater as Catcher in the Rye is to books.
I keep thinking about when I clicked on "Left Behind" while sharing an iPod with my friend, and she told me to turn it off. It's one of those memories that makes me want to throw something. I hate that gut wrenching reality that hits you in a 5 second exchange of words.
I wish I had pictures to show you of all the memories I'm sharing right now, but I don't.
I came up with another memory tonight as well after I got home from the film festival, about a fake death. Faking one's own death is a cruel trick to play, and it is again one of those gut wrenching moments of reality worth detesting. I remember when I was visiting a friend in another state. For ease of story-telling, we'll call my friend Shelby and we'll call the girl who faked her death Kate. I wouldn't have had any idea who Kate was when Shelby told me that Kate died, except for that I remember Shelby telling me that she really really didn't like Kate. Shelby is an agreeable and sensible person, so her distaste for Kate was surely validated.
Anyways, Shelby came home from volleyball practice one day and she started crying. I asked her why, and she told me that Kate had gotten in a abad car accident and was dead. I looked at my friend and I couldn't fathom the torture and confusion of her feelings at that moment. Kate's death made Shelby feel guilty for speaking ill of her. Shelby cried when the person she liked the least of anyone died only because she knew her. Death, though we all picture it black, is the most transparent of all the things to be. Death shows us who we are.
We found out a few hours later that Kate was totally full of shit and had done the whole thing herself by stealing her brothers phone and texting a few people. It was pretty selfish of her to do that, and I'm sure that she lost a few people's trust and friendship after that stunt, but I can't help but thinking that maybe these people learned a small lesson in humanity. Maybe not that they loved Kate afterall because they cried when they thought she was dead, but that they should treat people in general as best as they can because you don't know what will happen tomorrow.
I've been feeling so existential lately I guess because I'm a suburbian teenager, but it's more of the hopeful existentialism than the "we are born we kill trees and then we die" sort of existentialism.
I'm really bad at telling stories and then having a conclusion that says something. By the time I'm done speaking or typing out what I'm trying to say, I usually forget where I was going with it in the first place.
Last night I saw a movie at the film festival called Man from Nowhere and it was like Taken with Liam Neeson only twice as badass and one hundred percent more Korean.
"You live for tomorrow. I live for today. People who live for tomorrow get fucked by people who live for today." -Man from Nowhere
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