saturday saturday gettin' down on saturday

Ugh I HATE the past few posts I've put up.  I mean the college ones are helpful to me but not interesting at all to you, and then there's the ominous-something-bad-will-happen one and then there is the crybaby one.  Those two posts are both just so negative and my life is fine so I need to stop complaining.

I've started feeling so positive lately, mostly due to yesterday's events.  It started with going to district contest and receiving good enough ratings to allow us to go to states.  I really wasn't expecting to end up with such good results and maybe with states in the distance we can turn this year around in choir and end up with a really good year.

Last night I went to a concert in Cleveland to see the Mike Lombardo Trio and Driftless Pony Club.  I got to see and meet some of my favorite people on YouTube, which was strange.  I'm so used to seeing them in a little box on my computer, but it kind of reminded me that everyone on YouTube is a real person.  I realized that I haven't talked much about YouTube on my blog and that I probably should.  I love YouTube.  I watch various people's vlogs close to every day.  I love the community that has formed on YouTube and the self-initiation that YouTube entails.  You have all the tools you need to be popular on YouTube so long as you have a camera, and I love that it's like that.  You don't need to get signed, you don't need an agent.  No one has to believe in you but yourself, which doesn't sounds so positive, but trust me, it is.  YouTube is all about a you can do it! attitude.

But anyways, I met Mike Lombardo and Hayley Hoover and Alex and Andy (last names ..?) in  real life.  They were all so nice and thankful for their supporters and it was really nice to see that in person.  Today I watched a video of Mike performing "You Should Know" to Michael Buckley,  and other than the fact that Mike cried while performing this which was d'awwww-worthy, at the end someone called out "we love you!" and without missing a beat Mike said "I love you too!"  Any performer can do that but after meeting him, you truly know that he does love everyone who takes the time to watch his videos and who takes the time to come out and see him.  Mike and Hayley remind me more than anyone that I being yourself will lead to more happiness than anything else.

And I kind of got to thinking on the notion of love and how neither Hayley nor Mike would waste their time with people who are fake or who take themselves too seriously, and that's how they ended up with each other.  Funny people who aren't afraid to make fun of themselves and they're not perfect but they're willing to be vulnerable.  I got to thinking about the kind of relationship I would want to be in myself, and about how I think I would want it the same way.  I don't take my self seriously most of the time and I don't like it when other people do either.  I like to be silly and run around and do stupid things and do things when I want to do them . I don't want the perfect guy, I just want someone who is willing to be fun and just go out and do stuff because we can.

And then those thoughts got me thinking about why it is that I'm so obsessed with college and with going away.  I'm very bored with my life right now, and up until high school, I could pretty much count on that most of my actions would have almost no effect on my future at all.  But now everything I do either threatens my future in college or beyond that, or it strengthens my future in college or beyond.  So I find it hard to keep working towards a goal that doesn't have a name.  I don't know where I want to go or where I would fit in, but I would like to know.

So I started out with this post kind of apologizing (I didn't actually apologize but I am now- Sorry.) for the negative and boring stuff I've posted recently and originally titled this "yuck and yuck" but now I feel better so I'm changing the title.  kcool ttyl.

Also I love Sam and Laura who went to the concert with me.  Thank you guys so much for going with me!