A High School Graduate Nose Best

When the board of education first sent me a letter asking me to blast my verbal excellence on the class of 2012 at our commencement ceremony, I thought hey, it’s our commencement; yes they should have the privilege of hearing my brilliance.  And because it is only in movies that the speaker condemns her entire class to a life in the fast food industry, I decided I wanted to not insult anyone to the point that I get uninvited from grad parties. 

I began my thought process by asking myself the most basic question:  What has high school meant to me?

And after two and a half weeks of agonizing thought, trying every method I could to extract some deep, beautiful metaphor or idea or analogy about which to write my speech, I finally came up with this.

High school is the life equivalent to the nose.  It is a nose.  It is a part of life, and in most cases -- especially in Westlake, Ohio—it will be an unavoidable part of life.  The things pertaining to noses are typically only enjoyable about one quarter of the time.  Think of all the winters you have been sniffling, all of the disgusting smells you have endured, all of the painful zits you have gotten right on the tip of your own shnozz making you resemble everyone’s favorite reindeer.  You can imagine the real-life parallels to these nasal troubles: long nights of homework, the parking lot suddenly turning into a lake when it rains, the evil boys in gym class who play dodgeball as if their very lives depended on this game.

But, like I said, 25% of the time, a nose is a lovely thing.  Playing got-your-nose with little kids, smelling fresh flowers in the spring time, sniffing warm bread on the table.  These are the times when you catch yourself thinking, yeah, having a nose is wonderful.  These are the Friday night football games, the cute boy in your French class, Bosco-stick day in the cafeteria.

The truth of it all is that high school had its moments, and though I am not sad that the end is near, I will look back on those moments fondly in the future. And for that, I would like to thank the class of 2012.  May none of you end up in the fast food industry.